Verse 44 - Living by Knowing When to Stop

[Eva Libre]

44th Verse

 

Which means more to you,

you or your renown ?

Which brings more to you,

you or what you own ?

 I say what you gain

is more trouble than what you lose.

 

Love is the fruit of sacrifice.

Wealth is the fruit of generosity.

 

A contented man is never disappointed.

He who knows when to stop is preserved from peril,

only thus can you endure long.

 

 

Contemplation/Meditation Verse

 

I let go of my need for more,

         and live in a state of pure gratitude.

Giving is replacing my demands for more.

 

         

Do The Tao Now

 

Pick an area of your life to practice releasing an attachment by deciding when to stop.  For example, plan to leave ten minutes before you think you're done in the grocery store, or refrain from buying anything that's not on your list.  At work, restrain yourself from getting another cup of coffee or writing one more personal e-mail.  In a relationship, don't say anything else in a discussion that's going nowhere.  Those are all examples of attachment to being or doing.

 

You can also practice detaching by giving something away.  Just recently, for instance, my son surprised both of us by doing just that.  I was admiring a new T-shirt he'd just purchased, and he said, "Here, Dad, you like this one so much that even though it's my favorite, I want you to have it."  It was a simple, spontaneous letting go of an attachment, and both of us felt the wealth that is the fruit of generosity. 

 

Source - Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life (Living the Wisdom of the Tao)

by Dr Wayne W Dyer

[Eva Libre]

Advice from Dr Dyer -

 

Make your relationship to the Tao your top priority.

 

Prioritize your life by making this the essential and foremost responsibility you have.  Your primary relationship needs to be with yourself, not your family, business, country, culture, or ethnicity.

 

Affirm:

 

The number one priority in my life is

my relationship with my Source of being.

 

Go there first, before any other considerations, and you'll automatically discontinue demanding more of anything else.  You'll begin to emulate the Tao effortlessly, living heaven on earth.

[Eva Libre]

Advice from Dr Dyer -

 

Practice knowing when to stop.

 

Alert yourself to recognizing when it's a good time to stop demanding, chasing, talking, walking, working, sleeping, playing, shopping, complaining, striving, and so on.  By practicing cessation, you'll move into prioritizing what's important in your life in that moment.  Is your business doing well ?  Let it stop growing.  Is your stomach full ?  Quit eating right now.  Do you have enough money saved ?  Give some of it away, without taking deductions or asking for credit for your generosity.  The more you're attached to needing and wanting and possessing, the more you lose in your relationship to the Tao.  But when you know the time to stop, you say good-bye to the troubles that accrue for those who sacrifice arriving for a lifetime of striving.

[Eva Libre]

From Vimala McClure - The Tao of Motherhood

 

44

RELEASE

 

Which is dearer to you:

being right or being respected ?

 

Being respected or being loved ?

 

Having or being ?

 

Know when to let your child go,

to have her own life and feelings.

Your security is within you,

not within your child.

 

Grasp and you will lose.  Release

and find contentment.

[Eva Libre]

From Tao Te Ching - The Definitive Edition by Jonathan Star

 

One's own reputation -- why the fuss ?

One's own wealth -- why the concern ?

I say, what you gain

               is more trouble than what you lose

 

Love is the fruit of sacrifice

Wealth is the fruit of generosity

 

Be content,

               rest in your own fullness --

You will not suffer from loss

You'll avoid the snare of this world

You'll have long life and endless blessings

 

[Eva Libre]

From Richard Grossman - The Tao of Emerson

 

From James Legge - The Texts of Taoism, 1891

 

Or fame or life,

          Which do you hold more dear ?

Or life or wealth,

          To which would you adhere ?

Keep life and lose those other things;

Keep them and lose your life -- which

          brings

Sorrow and pain more near ?

 

Thus we may see

          Who cleaves to fame

Rejects what is more great;

Who loves large stores

           Gives up the richer state.

 

Who is content

Needs fear no shame.

Who knows to stop

Incurs no blame.

From danger free

Long live shall be.

 

 

From the Essays of Ralph Waldo Emerson - "Journal 1846", "Nature" (poem), "Greatness" 

 

Genius consists in neither improving nor

          remembering,

But in both trembles the beam

          of the balance of nature.

Two brains in every man

Who walks in ways that are unfamed

And feats achieved before they're named.

 

There is a teaching for him from within

          which is leading him in a new path,

And, the more it is trusted,

Separates and signalizes him,

While it makes him more important and

          necessary to society.

So that his doing, which is perfectly natural,

Appears miraculous to dull people.

[Eva Libre]

Tao Te Ching - The Classic Book of Integrity and The Way by Lao-Tzu

A New Translation by Victor H Mair

based on the recently discovered Ma-Wang-Tui Manuscripts

 

44 (7)

 

Name or person,

          which is nearer ?

Person or property,

          which is dearer ?

Gain or loss,

          which is drearier ?

 

Many loves entail great costs,

Many riches entail heavy losses.

 

Know contentment and you shall not be disgraced,

Know satisfaction and you shall not be imperiled;

          then you will long endure.

[Eva Libre]

Lynn's - Daode jing of Laozi

 

Reputation or one's person, which is dear ?

 

When one values reputation and craves high position, his person surely becomes a matter of indifference to him.

 

One's person or what he possesses, which is more ?

 

When one's covetousness for possessions becomes insatiable, his person surely diminishes. (1)

 

Gain or loss, which is harm ?

 

If one gains reputation and material advantage [wealth] (2) but loses his own person, which one is harm ?

 

Thus it is that extreme meanness is sure to result in great expense, and much hoarding is sure to result in heavy loss.

 

When in the grip of extreme meanness, one does not identify with the people, and, when addicted to much hoarding, one does not share with them.  The more one tries to get, the more numerous will be his attackers, which means that he will be harmed by the people.  Thus he will suffer great expense and heavy loss.

 

One who knows contentment will not suffer damage to his reputation, and one who knows how to stop will not place himself in danger.  As such, he will last long.

 

Text, in Italics above, is Wang Bi's commentary.

The notes below, are from the translator, Richard John Lynn -

(deb's note - "section" is used for verse in these notes.)

 

(1)Cf. Wang's commentary to section 22, fifth passage.

 

(2)  "Gains reputation and material advantage" translates de mingli; however, the base text reads "gains much material advantage" (de duoli).  Hatano Taro, citing the annotations of Wei Yuan (1794-1856) in his Laozi Benyi (The original meaning of the Laozi), B:52, and Ma Qichang (1855-1930) in his Laozi gu (Exegesis of the ancient meaning of the Laozi), agrees with them and suggests that duo (much) is a scribal error for ming (reputation).  See Hatano, Roshi Dotokukyo kenkyu, 296.  Since mingli (reputation and material advantage/wealth) is a common compound in classical texts, it is the more likely reading.

[Eva Libre]

From Stephen Mitchell - tao te ching - A New English Version 

 

Fame or integrity: which is more important ?

Money or happiness: which is more valuable ?

Success or failure: which is more destructive ?

 

If you look to others for fulfillment,

you will never truly be fulfilled.

If your happiness depends on money,

you will never be happy with yourself.

 

Be content with what you have;

rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking,

the whole world belongs to you.

 

 

From Byron Katie - A Thousand Names For Joy

- Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are

 

When you realize that there is nothing lacking,

the whole world belongs to you.

 

Success is the story of having arrived somewhere, on your way from an imagined past to an imagined future.  I don't even have a reference for it.  For me, whatever I'm doing is a success -- the ultimate success.  The whole world belongs to me, because I live in the simplicity of what is: woman sitting in chair.  There's nothing beyond this, not one thought beyond it.  This room is the whole world.  I'm a success at sitting.  I'm a success at breathing.  If I died now, I'd be a success at not breathing.  What could I possibly fail at ?  When the mind is clear, there's no way to make a mistake.

 

Reality is kind.  Its nature is uninterrupted joy.  When I woke up from the dream of Byron Katie, there was nothing left, and the nothing was benevolent.  It's so benevolent that it wouldn't reappear, it wouldn't re-create itself.  The worst thing could happen, the worst imagination of horror, the whole planet could be obliterated, and it would see that as grace, it would even celebrate, it would open its arms and sing "Halleluyah !"  It's so clear, so in love with what is, that it might seem unkind, even inhuman.  It cares totally, and it doesn't care at all, not one bit, not if all living creatures in the universe were obliterated in an instant.  How could it react with anything less than joy ?  It's in love with what is, whatever form that may take.

 

Reality is neither good nor bad.  It's bigger than good and bad.  It has no opposite, there's nothing that it's not, there's nothing that isn't like it.  The end of duality isn't the end of the world: it's the end of suffering.  The brilliant, the bright -- that's what I'd call God if I called it anything.  What doesn't exist, what is beyond existence, is more brilliant than the sun.  During one of my weekend intensives, a man once said to me, with the loveliest glow on his face, "I just understood !  It's amazing: what you're talking about is heaven on earth !"  I said, "You do understand.  And actually, I'm talking from heaven, to earth." (I love my little jokes.)

 

As you begin to wake yourself up from your dreams of hell or purgatory, heaven dawns on you in a way that the imagination can't comprehend.  And then, as you continue to question what you believe, you realize that heaven, too, is just a beginning.  There is something better than heaven.  It's the eternal, meaningless, infinitely creative mind.  It can't stop for time or space or even joy.  It's so brilliant that it will shake what's left of you into the depths of all-consuming wonder.

 

I can't find anything outside the brilliance.  It's everywhere, and it's always gone, even before it happens.  It's how form appears to take place.  And by the time form happens, original cause is already gone, so the taste, smell, or sight is gone even as it appears to be happening, and mind is so delighted that it never experiences the effects.  Wouldn't you be delighted, too, if you knew the secret of life, the cosmic joke that's going on all the time ?  The joke is that there's nothing.  You see that all stressful thoughts are already gone, you realize that there's no substance to them, and you feel intense delight.  Then you see that all beautiful things, all the things you love, all the great art and music and literature, all the people you love most dearly, our whole civilization, the beloved earth itself, the whole infinite universe, are gone as well, and you smile with triple delight, because you realize that not only are they not real, you're not real, either.

[Eva Libre]

Dr Dyer's Essay for Verse 44 -

 

The 44th verse tells you that changing the way you prioritize your life ensures a fruitful one.  I call it the "Enough is enough" section of the Tao Te Ching.  When you update your view of the most important things in your life, the world around you is going to seem very different.  Lao-tzu is urging you to look into your heart and examine what is truly important.

 

Earlier verses of the Tao Te Ching counsel that the essential mission of your life is to go back to (or get to know) your originating Source before physical death.  In other words, you don't have to die to make the return trip !  It's not only possible, but essential, to feel your connection to the Tao while you're still alive.

 

Knowing when to stop is part of the path leading you to your essential self, where the need for fame and possessions is nonexistent.  You see, it's not the things or even a desire for recognition that keeps you from a living connection to the Tao -- it's your attachment to them that gets in the way.  So shift the importance that you've placed on success or belongings, which has obscured your connectedness to the Tao.  Begin to note the senselessness of demanding more, exhausting yourself in pursuit of what keeps you trapped in a vicious cycle of "striving and never arriving" or trying to find fulfillment.  This verse implores you to know when to stop.

 

I'm sure that you can easily see people in your environment who spend their entire lives seeking more of everything -- more possessions, money, recognition, awards, friends, places to go, substances, food -- you name it.  If you live with this same philosophy, you've signed up for a life of frustration and dissatisfaction because the search itself becomes your jailer.  It's easy to see then why Lao-tzu advises that what you gain is far more trouble than what you lose !  When you prioritize your life, you'll find that love and a feeling of abundance are not only what you desire, but these two principles are instantly available because you've changed the way you look at the world.  From this new perspective, you'll feel totally loved and wealthy in all ways.

 

I realize that Lao-tzu is again speaking in what seem to be paradoxical words.  But he's coming to you from the perspective of having changed the way he looked at things, and noting that what he looked at changed.  He now sees love and wealth everywhere -- yet he knows intuitively that he can never possess them by chasing after them, since they'll always remain just outside his grasp.  And so he looks at the Tao and sees that the Great Way keeps nothing for itself, is willing to let go of its life-giving essence, and is desirous to share with all.  When you give of yourself, asking nothing in return and withdrawing your need for recognition, you'll experience more contentment.  The fruits of wealth and love are seen right there before you when you simply stop the chase.

 

The beauty of the wisdom in this 44th verse is that you give away your attachment to things or ways of being, which is what I mean by knowing when to stop.  If the chase is wearing out your health, stop !  If the chase is wreaking havoc on your relationships, stop !  If the chase is exhausting you, stop !  If the chase is keeping you from enjoying your life, stop !  When you know when to cease and desist, you're protected from all of those perils, and you'll enjoy a long and contented existence connecting with the Tao.