2020 is almost gone.

[Eva Libre]

i peek around the curtain
slowly & gently gazing at others in distress.
i’ve been hiding behind the curtain for years.
in my own pain.
my own hurt.
my sadness.

i hear others crying.
i smell the fear.
i see the confusion upon their faces.
i smell the regret.
i hear their hearts breaking.

for years, i was alone.
hiding behind my curtain.
others seeing the fake smile.
keeping the pain & hurt to myself.

i used to stand out.
but, now, everyone is like me.
we are all scared or worried
or sad or confused
and i don’t stand out anymore.

as i peek around the curtain
i see others in disbelief.
they are hurt, too.
they are confused, too.
they are sad, too.
they are scared, too.
they are in pain, too.
and, i am not alone.

before 2020,
i would feel hurt or pain,
and i would feel like i had to hide.
i didn’t want to share my sadness,
in fear i would bring others down.
i didn’t want to stand out,
when others seem to be shining bright.
i didn’t want to answer honestly,
when someone asked me,
“how are you doing?”
i didn’t want to bring my sadness
with me.
i wanted to hide behind the curtain.

in the year 2020…
the feeling of the world has changed.
the energy has changed.
the tone has changed.
sadness is accepted more easily now.
confusion is less rejected now.
fear is understood now.
pain is felt by others now.

the heaviness you carry around is
no longer stared at or questioned
profusely.. it is met with
understanding and empathy
and love and acceptance.
no matter where your roots
were ripped from,
you feel less inclined to
over-explain your darkness.

do you feel less alone?
have you peeked from behind your curtain?
i hope so.
take my hand
and come with me.
you’ll see you don’t have to hide.
everyone is feeling heavy right now.

and the beauty of this all;
you don’t have to name your pain.
your pain may be caused by something
unrelated to the happenings of 2020,
but it is safe to feel it now.
more safe and acceptable as it’s ever been.

2020 is almost gone.
gently remove the heavy baggage
you’ve carried it long enough
and lay it down on the ground
and walk from behind the curtain.
you’re safe now.
to feel your pain.
together.
with us all.

~ Jessica E. Smith
[Art: Louis Treserras]