Peace for the Soul

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Inner Transformation Series - 6 - Acceptance: A Vital Step to Inner Transformation - Last Part

Dear All,

Inner Transformation-6 Contd...

When I first started working in the corporate world, I was given a raise at the end of my first year, even though I did not do anything outstanding. The next year, I really worked hard. But then they said I was not good at communication and was denied a promotion! The first thought in my head was “Why? Why did they do this to me?” But then I immediately wondered, “Why didn’t I ask this question last year?”

Everything comes as a package. There are always ups and downs. Rewards will not come in the same timeline that we think. But it will come when it should. Our mind expects a timeline. But our mental timeline and the
universal timeline may not match. It is simpler to accept instead.

What is acceptance? When my manager said he was not promoting me, I didn’t question why he did it to me. He had already done it to me! It did not matter WHY he did it. He already did. But instead I asked him what factors I should improve on. I showed him the areas I had performed well in and explained why I thought I deserved a promotion. Finally he admitted that the decision was already made and that he couldn’t change it. Then I said okay and that I understood the situation. We ended up becoming good friends. In that circumstance, the difference between acceptance and agreement was made clear to me. Acceptance does not mean agreeing, but simply not questioning “why did this happen to me?” Acceptance is simply not brooding on what “could have, should have, would have” happened. Once acceptance comes in, it is easy to understand the choices you have before you.

Acceptance prepares the intelligence to find the solution. When you accept, the mind loses a whole lot of its negative power. Any complaining or grumbling is non-acceptance. If we keep complaining about so-called justifiable things, it will become a habit, and habit will find an excuse for complaining.

But if we make a conscious effort to “accept” situations, over time, acceptance too becomes a habit. The time between realizing there is a problem and accepting it narrows, and finally it is immediate. “What next” comes naturally. Great leaders have this sense of acceptance. When we accept, we respect and care for people. We may not agree with them, but when we cease to even accept people we have a big problem; we cease
to be humans ourselves. Acceptance brings in a wonderful flowering of love and care. In the Devotion tradition, it matures as Surrender. What is Surrender? Accepting life second by second.

This is the secret of life. Inner transformation has to start with the realization of how we do not accept situations and instead complain about them. When there is a big pillar in front of me, I should find a way to go around it, but if I instead go on banging against it, is it not simply insanity? Imagine the pillar to be a mental construct. You want a situation to play out in a particular way. But it doesn’t happen that way. If you continue to question “Why did it happen like this! Why should this happen to me?” is it not banging your head on reality? A physical wound will at least heal, but a mental wound will not go. It will only become bigger.

The sooner we are aware of our mental non-acceptance, the quicker will we be on the path towards inner transformation and towards having a better quality of inner life. With inner life in order, the quality of outer life also improves. If you really want to help or serve someone, it has to start with yourself. A surgeon needs to first sanitize himself, right? Likewise, the first step in the process of reaching out, is for yourself to expand, to ransform yourself.

Alecture series by Mr M. K. Ramanujamji (, inspired by the teachings of his Master - H. H. Sri Sri Muralidhara Swamiji. For more details:

Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

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