Please read my last post....

[Eva Libre]

PLEASE READ MY LAST POST about what I believe we can do that may actually help get through those "hard-headed" young people who think they know the best way to deal with this!! It starts with CHE POSSIAMO FARE NOI....

I wanted to say, get this off my chest, that I am SO moved by goodness in these days. Reading about it online, and actually caring thoughts of others, it really moves me to tears. Could it be my emotions are all messed up? Could it be I have anxiety? I am working on it....REALLY FEEL THAT EXERCISE IS A KEY. We have to do SOMETHING to make us feel normal and good, and when I am stretching, it is saying to me, get back to being yourself, and that self is positive and happy (some of the time, not always!!).

It is a period of also thinking, now is the time to get things off my chest. And yet, we really don't need to hear other people's problems now, there is no space for other problems!!
I think about those insecure people, those alone, those who only are alone and suffer their loneliness (I know, some actually love being alone!).

My mother was really an exceptional woman, I never really realized it until after her death and all the things I discovered about her through her notes here and there, and a thorough looking over all of her drawings and paintings, and even sculptures. She had said once "IF YOU LIVE IN FEAR YOU CAN'T REALLY LIVE". Also she had said this, and I am thinking of these days "FROM EVERY NEGATIVE THING, SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS". Definitely, that is what is happening now (at least in my world, in my mind). My mom had a VERY difficult life. We have a VERY difficult family. I know I know, I look like all fun and games, all smiles and laughter. You know the comedians who joke around and you know that deep down they are sad....well......
But Mom worked on all parts of her life, and she managed. I do not know how she did it. But she knew that something would come out of the bad things, something good.

That is why right now, I am SO TOUCHED by human kindness. And having a more fragile time these days, I cry. Openly and with tears running down my face. And I FEEL. I feel our suffering, I feel our ignorance, I feel that this crisis which gets more scary all the time is giving us just a teaspoon sized taste of what it means to be a migrant without a blanket nor food, and if he has something wrong physically, he just will have to deal with it. Or those in wars, grasping onto their children with no more tears to shed. Waiting, basically, to wither away, with the many thoughts of a tomorrow which will not come, most likely. And here WE ARE in our warm, heated houses, me now with a spaghetti sauce cooking, and a homemade carrot cake just finished, and now I will exercise with music on, and I am complaining???

This is a chance to open our eyes. This is a chance to grow. This is a chance to think of others. This is a chance to realize WHO GIVES A DAMN AND WHO HAS FORGOTTEN YOU!! YES!!! I KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS! And my closest friends and family know what I am talking about.
And this hurts, but I love the truth! I love speaking openly, from the heart to the ends of my fingers that type and out it come right here.

SO.....when I say that I am totally touched emotionally by those who do good deeds, and when I cry looking at the photos of the doctors and nurses who are risking their lives taking care of others, I just cry, and will continue to do so. This goodness. This reality. This caring, this non-religious but just pure humane action, it gets to me totally!! And it makes me feel what I want to feel most: who I am really, and what I care about.
I know this will come out now in whatever I decide to paint. No time for happy paintings, not at the present. I know it will come out in my writing, and I hope something I write may do some good for others.
SO MANY EMOTIONS. So much going on in the world. Can we be numb and ignore, reject, not learn anything? We are not a piece of steel.....I am feeling, and I will continue to do so. I don't know where this will all end and when. But the lessons are to be learned, and the feelings felt. Good luck to all of us.

STEPHANIE SEYMOUR