right here with me . . .

[Bill]

 

right here with me . . .

 

i have been dreaming of you for eons

my desires to be  . . .

with you

or near you

in your life

as you have been in mine

and these thoughts of you consumes me

beyond my ability to explain

 

many times there has been a pain

here in the recesses of my heart

and my soul

and i have forever wondered why

God would punish me so

i don’t know

 

i have asked so many times

why ?

why did i have to suffer this life

again without you

 

i have thus deluded myself

as i embraced the illusions

that i may find some solace

 

i came to believe that some one else

could fulfill this need

to no reasonable avail

for my soul continually aches

and ails for you still

 

some may term this thing i have for you as love

but there is a greater truth

i have come to realize

that it is not the type of love of man

that can calm this beast

that is raving and raging within my very essence

in your absence

 

i do remember vaguely in thought

of our holy union

when we communed as one

it seems like an eternity ago

for over many life times i have sought

to repair this torn part of my being

and all that i see and understand

that it is you who should be

here and near

for you were

the very air that i breathed

the sunshine of my day

and the soothing moonlight

of my wishful nights

and now all i dream about is you

 

i pray often for clarity

and perhaps it is a certain verity

i am seeking

and i feel the promise of your arrival

peeking through the clouds of my hope

and yet there is a rope of anguish

that has bound me here

immersed in my tears

and fears

that life does not fulfill one’s desires

yet the fires rage on

in expectancy

age after age

year after year

tear after tear

 

my soul has cried me a River

that runs to my Ocean of wantonness

for you

and this eternal redundancy of motion

swirls me in a vortex of heart aches

as i await life to deliver you

that we may emote our love

 

yet it seemingly brings me no closer

to seeing your face

that i may embrace you once again

to taste of your lips

to feel your breath upon my skin

to again be mesmerized by the twinkling

and the glistening of the Stars in your eyes

and i am listening

yet still

for the footsteps of your approach

your coming

 

and i am summoning God

please open my eyes

release me from this nightmare

of being apart

that i may see you here again

right here

with me

 

right here with me . . .

 

(c) 28 January 2011 : William S. Peters, Sr.

 

[Bill]