A common space for harmonic peacemakers
Heavy clouds, strong winds,
Lightning, thunder, rain. The
Storm passed; my rose bloomed.
What is your experience of the nature of forgiveness?
In my experience, forgiveness is not something I directly choose. Rather, it is a space or state of being I arrive at when I have fully expressed myself and taken full responsibility for my emotions, how I express them, and any stories or beliefs I have regarding my experience. How is it that I do not simply choose to forgive? I invite you to look at forgiveness in two different ways.
In the first, in a moralistic sense, if I have decided someone else was wrong to do what they chose to do, and passed a judgment, then I may “forgive” them by taking on a self-image of being “in the right,” morally superior, and thus “above” or “passed” anger or grief. I can do the same with myself in my mind, making my current self morally superior or of “higher awareness” to a past, misguided self. How can I continue to be emotionally intimate, relaxed, and enjoying time spent with another or with myself, if I seek and create this type of “forgiveness?” If I cannot be open and joyful with the forgiven, have I truly achieved forgiveness?
In the second type of forgiveness, I choose not to judge myself or another, understanding that judgments are make-believe, just stories I tell myself (and others). In this case, I understand that to blame or judge another (or my past self), I must first make them wrong in my mind (or make myself wrong), and since I have no basis in fact to do this, there is no need to ever take this first step. If I have already taken this first step, I can be aware of it, then choose to undo it, letting go of the ideas of wrongness and blame. Then I choose to express myself fully, speaking of my emotions and experiences in first person, as related to specific actions and events in my experience. Especially, I choose to express myself in that way to the person involved, or fully have the expression in private while maintaining awareness, if the person involved is myself. By speaking my emotions in first person, as related to specific actions or events, I take full responsibility as creator of my emotional experiences, and my sharing becomes a revealing of myself and my experience that is authentic without story-making or judgment of self or other. I relate my whole self clearly and directly. I am revealed, and I enter a new space of possibility to greet someone anew, to go forward without judgment of self or other.
Well said. Jesus Christ taught us to forgive others, so that we in turn can be forgiven. There is a very good reason for this teaching. Previous to his teaching, the current thinking was, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. Gandi updated this with, an eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind.
Obviously this is a very important teaching with all these wise Spirits commenting on it.
Forgiveness is different for each of the Spiritual gifts. It is very hard for feeling type people to throw off a negative or baD feeling THAT somebody, unknowingly, has given them. There is nothing intellectual about this.
This person must deal with this the best way they can. Probably by using their other gifts to deal with it.
For people , whose first gift is Intuition, they will forgive, but never forget the action that may have crossed a boundary. Forgiving others, that have seriously interfered in our business, or even our own family, helps us grow another leg. But we don't have to forget it. We can forget it when the time is right, usually when there is no longer any need to remember.
Forgiving others, is recognising that the world does not revolve around each of us individually, but there is a bigger picture working out in our lives.
Well said Art. Empathy comes with our feeling gift. For some, who's feeling gift is number four, they will be further away from their empathy with others, but thats OK. They still have empathy, unless they have real mental problems.
Very true Jane. Mirror image. What we see in others is indeed also in us. It is said we should remove the log in our own eye, before we condemn the splinter in another's eye. This also applies to good qualities too of course. So we can get a kick out of looking for good qualities in others.
Its great fun.