feeling completely anachronous

[Bill]

feeling completely anachronous

sitting, reflecting with my pen and pad
feeling completely anachronous
yes time has refused me
or
i refused time’s rhymes
for nothing seems to be working together

could it be me who just does not understand
the complexity of perfection
and just why do these Suits get an erection
in lieu of my suffering

the greed merchants are dancing a devil’s dance
perchance i could change the music
i once thought
yet i feel like i am caught
at times
in this voracious vortex
and i try to keep up

perhaps in my limitedness
i have somehow loss touch with the sacredness
or was it my belief system which has collapsed
am i having a relapse
of the 60’s, the Renaissance
or is it the Dark Ages
but once again my friend
we have been here before

i remember when we burned the Witches in Salem
i say we because we stood by silently
yes, we have failed them
as the select few who knew God
at least they knew the God they fed us
and taught us how to trust
in their objective illusions
yes they have achieved their objective
and taught us the parameters of how we should live
and we gladly accepted their non truth truths
yes, we were young at mind, the youth
there for the cultivating of their own agendas
and there was no Miranda’s offered
as we went to sleep in our warm safe coffers
or was it coffins
with TV and the Moon
and now Remote Controls and a Six Pack
to relax
relax what
our minds ?
perhaps that is why i do not understand
yet inside of me there are demands
for release to something more pleasant
perhaps
the non acquiescence of my life
to a sentence of strife

yet i write these sentences
not to condemn
but to liberate us from the chains
that have been secured and extrapolated
some are shiny yet rust plated
for the Shit is old
all that nonsense we have been told
His Story
my God where is the Glory
the Salvation
in His Story

i pick up my pen again
to attempt to feebly examine this paradigm
this dynamic epidemic of indifference
to self
to others
to you
i ask my self
Bill what are you going to do
today
can you laugh it off as the clown you pretend to be
the court Jester of someone else’s kingdom
while telling yourself you are free
you have no damn idea
yeah
no idea
just how deep the rabbit hole is
this is not a quiz
i am telling you
the game is almost over
all the courageless ones run for cover
and what once was their lover
the world of illusion
has bent us over . . . backwards
and raped all that we thought we are
and were
and hope to be
daily
without cease
and we please
please . . . please . . . please
give me more
it hurts too bad to stop

like a Donkey on Methadone
we have given up the real high
for the substitute
trying to evade the addictions
to our conflictions
seeking the light
found in our restrictions
that we can change this whole damned thing
we must forget the past times
for it will soon be past time
and the time will pass us on by
and our power will be forgotten
you know,
that power you long ago surrendered
just so you could buy what you could not afford
in advance
that power
to be authentic
to stand up
speak your mind
never minding the persecution
of truthful elocution
seeking resolutions
in truth’s fusion
into our realities

i am needing an advance Lord
i need a blessings down here
i get on my knees
begging please
take away this inane pain
i don’t really want the truth
at least not all of it at once
for that would cause me to be accountable
to what seems insurmountable
odds
with my self
with the world
with you
so i pray the prayer of delusions

and as i embrace my dysfunctional self
in my dysfunctional family
in my dysfunctional world
i just shake my dysfunctional head
waiting for some sort of Epiphanic solution
recording my feeble insightless evolution
from Soul to Pen to Paper to You to me
as i express
and i am pressed
to address
this feeling completely anachronous

yes, i am out of sync with something
and i feel it deep inside
and my soul has been crying
and i can no longer hide
or am i dying
drowning in the alpha-bet soup of this matrix
as i am digesting the letter
the word
of life
while i am feeling

completely anachronous




(c) 10 December 2010 : William S. Peters, Sr.